The nightmare that is Toilet Training and Withholding

We have just turned a corner with our eldest on the toilet training front.

A little stressful to say the least. It feels like 6 months rather than the month she has been actually out of nappies through the day.

At 33 months she is probably a little older than most for us to begin toilet training. Instead of us deciding a day to start, we waited for the "I want to be a big girl now and not wear a nappy". I had heard so many parents say that this was the best way to toilet train as it takes less time and fuss. I did indeed get that very sentence. It was moments before us all leaving the house for a playdate at a local soft play centre. She had whipped off the nappy, plonked herself on the potty and demanded her big girl knickers. I was nervous. I didn't want to knock my little girls confidence by taking away her independence by reaching for the nappies but it was inevitable that there will be an accident.

She didn't let me down.

A handy tip is to pack a hand towel along with the spare knickers and clothes to deal with any accidents. I sure needed mine. It was grabbed at lightning speed when I saw my little girl laid perfectly still on the 3rd floor of a soft play gym. Directly below her was the landing mat for the slide of which was now being showered with a wee waterfall courtesy of my little one. I managed to retrieve my daughter and clean up that quick that no-one suspected a thing - thank goodness.
Accidents are part and parcel of toilet training. Ours have been mostly poo accidents, at the very beginning there was a total reluctance to use the toilet when it was clear she needed a poo. Hubby and I realised quickly that our little girl was withholding her poo. Why? we have no idea, but many reasons can include starting toilet training, starting school, a bad experience with constipation and even a reflex learnt since birth. No amount of bribes were working for us. She really did not want to let go of those poos without a fight and it was awful to watch your little girl clinging on to something like her life depended on it or shake uncontrollably to hold onto the poo. The decision to take her to the doctors came after we had to endure an evening listening to her pass a poo like she was giving birth. The Doctor prescribed Senna and Movicol laxatives which she will have to take for a period of 3 months. This amount of time is not just to make the poo softer and easier for her to pass but also to re train her reflexes when she needs to do a poo.

The internet can be a great source of information on anything. I looked up withholding and found two very helpful books. The first is a book for my little girl. Titled "Everybody Poos" by Taro Gomi. A colourful, illustrated book bringing home the point "I poo and you poo too, Every living thing has to eat, and so everybody poos!". My little one LOVES it, she finds the illustrations so funny. The second book I found was a little reading for me and the hubby. Titled "Constipation, Withholding and Your Child" by Anthony Cohn. I have found this book to be very informative and written in informal language that it is so easy to read. The author (a Consultant Paediatrician) has written a very tried and tested tale for children suffering from toilet issues. The main characters are Mr Poo and Little Miss Wee and their determination to play in the toilet. My little one understood this simple story straight away and has helped us immensely.

So with all this drama finally dying down, we are now doing just fine on the toilet front.